Friday, November 26, 2010

Is Charlie Brown a Christian?

Every time Lucy holds out the football, Charlie Brown takes the bait and tries to kick it. Then Lucy pulls it away and poor Charlie lands on his back with a *thud.* Predictably, Charlie Brown blames himself for his gullibility. As a woman, I say, "Go ahead and kick her in the crotch!" Yes, getting kicked in the crotch is painful for women too. We won't barf but we will double over, and this Lucy bitch deserves a taste of her own medicine.

Would an atheist version of Charlie Brown be such a sucker? He'd say "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..." and he'd turn to the side and kick Lucy in whatever body part happened to be within range. Because despite not having any god-given morals, even an atheist knows that HURTING OTHER PEOPLE ISN'T FUNNY!
We have the other example of pro football players intentionally giving concussions to the other team's players. How charming.
I have read comparisons between football and religion, and there are some remarkable similarities, it's true. It's us vs. them, break the rules for a good cause, drop everything on the appointed day, and make pilgrimmages to partake of ritual foods. There are heroes and villains. And after hours of "play" nothing has really changed except a few numbers that will be erased in a few months.
...and quite a few people will have new scars and debilitating injuries.
Yep, football is just like religion.
So, Christians, don't blame yourself if you crack open the Bible and it makes no sense to you. It's a nonsensical piece of dreck written by bronze age superstitious tribal leaders and propagated by generations of Lucy's who make it your fault for taking the bait. The next time someone tells you to read the bible, kick them in the crotch!

10 comments:

Agapekatamiso said...

I'm seriously getting tired of all this hate towards Christianity that I see on your blog and Human Ape's. I hope you will at least allow comments unlike Human Ape, who thinks he knows everything and that no one has freedom of speech or opinions. Not every Christian is the same.
Some of us DO believe in Evolution and don't find it impossible that God could be a part of it. I don't think science eliminates God at all either.

LadyAtheist said...

If you are offended by atheists who disrespect fundamentalists, then your real beef is with fundamentalists. They're the ones holding back scientific and cultural progress.

Agapekatamiso said...

So, you disrespect Fundamentalist Christians?
But not other Christians?
Is that what you're saying?

LadyAtheist said...

I'm saying that the mainstream Christians who believe in at least some part of reality should speak up against the idiot fundies who are standing in the way of science. I can't respect people who are silent bystanders while their cousins are destroying the economic viability of the country and the minds of children. You leave it up to atheists to do it then wag your fingers at us while privately happy that someone is taking them to task. If you don't like the anti-evolution movement speak up!

Human Ape said...

Just to be on topic, I would like to point out that gentlemen never kick ladies, even when they deserve it.

You might be interested to know, Ms. LadyAtheist, that Mr. Agapekatamiso is responsible for the recent vaporization of my blog. I was going to let you know the website address of my replacement blog, but now I can't do that because I don't want the subhuman Mr. Agapekatamiso visiting it.

You also might be interested to know, Ms. LadyAtheist, that Mr. Agapekatamiso is suffering from a mental illness (he admitted this), so you can expect him to make you his personal hobby. Actually he's already done this and you can expect him to visit your blog frequently every single day until the end of time. And that is why I can't say here what my new blog is.

You also might be interested to know that the mentally disturbed Mr. Agapekatamiso is really a creationist because he sticks his magical creator into evolutionary biology somewhere. Who knows where exactly, religious idiots are always very vague about where they hide their dead Jeebus.

Best wishes. You were my favorite visitor, by the way.

Infidel753 said...

If one believes that religion is both absurd and harmful, one is entitled (and, arguably, honor-bound) to express that opinion. It's impossible to point out that dangerous nonsense is dangerous nonsense without being disrespectful towards it.

Calls for "respect" in this context are just demands for silence.

The Charlie Brown analogy is a good one. A lot of religious people turn off their critical-thinking skills where religion is concerned, and are easily fooled.

In any case, when was the last time fundamentalists showed any respect for atheists?

Vaughn said...

Good post and EXCELLENT comment by Infidel753!

Anonymous said...

I applaud your insight and how deep a thinker you appear to be. However there is one thing i would like to question about you article. Now, i am not offended by this at all however, why would a children's cartoon input violence into it's story. Like you said, "Hurting people is not funny." However it obviously is funny in this case. Otherwise they wouldn't publish it. But why would a children's cartoon praise violence? It doesn't really. This story of how the bitch girl always pulls the ball away, and of how charlie doesn't retaliate seems to be a story of compassion and pacifism. Wouldn't Charlie's retaliation teach children to rise up and pick fights? Thats how i see it.

InvictusLux said...

An insular and infantile view of Christianity to see it in terms of Us vs Them -- as if a contest for goodies in heaven vs stitches and coal in hell.

Christianity's core message transcends mere ethics and morality. Those attributes are the outward signs of a Christian who has advanced himself through the path of sanctification to replace vice with virtue - overcoming the many evil/sinful selfish impulses which all of humanity inherits as part of our fallen human nature.

The advent of Christianity (celebrated at Christmas) is the pure childlike innocence of God incarnating as man to partner with humanity (through Mary's fiat - "Let it be done according to your word"); a new race of humanity in the new Adam and new Eve (Jesus and Mary - both sinless - the latter pre-saved and redeemed by God). The message is GOODWILL and PEACE to ALL MANKIND - Pagan and Jew alike. This is a huge universal event never before conceived (literally) or seen in prior human history.


The idea is to not put on the swaddling cloths of self-righteousness but rather the baptismal cloth of meekness, humility and service to fellow man - to be the image of Christ as part of this new elevated rate of humanity (elevated to better than before to take part in a share (through spiritual elevation and adoption) in the new human-divine prototype of God-become-man - Jesus.

We are compelled by the divine nature to HELP other fellow attain to their eternal promise of unspeakable joy not to play the role of conscience or God to condemn others. The mandate is to love BOTH God and Man as inseparable as Jesus is in his Divine-Human nature. A Christian can never claim to love God at the same time he hates or harms his fellow man. This is the pattern of what is Christian Charity - love of God and man together inseparable.

It is not charitable and loving God to be so indifferent to the eternal status of a fellow human (our neighbors and brethren) that we don't at least try to warn them of conducts and behaviors that will lead them to forfeit their eternal callings and share in the promises of The Christ. It is for example loving one's neighbor therefor to imprison those who wish to do harm to themselves and others to limit their crimes and to given them the opportunity in punishment to contemplate what their life objectives are rather than just ceding to anarchy and ruination. It is likewise loving one's neighbor to tell them (privately) that their carnal lusts and perversions (fornication, adultery, homosexuality etc.) are hurting them in their pursuit of Christian virtue and the formation and maturation of our immortal souls - the immortal thing that is our wellspring of sentience and which carries us to eternal life beyond time-space.

We are here in the womb of creation to be all that God intended us to be -- which is a lot - a child of God. Don't leave earth without a soul that can hold the one single substance that is immortal -- Divine Grace. Grow your soul through virtuous deeds since it is finite in capacity but God is infinite. The more grace retains and claims as their own (a kind of spiritual coin) the greater one can draw into beatitude with God to know Him as He knows Himself and participate in the unfathomable joys that He desires and intends to manifest in the new Creation to come.





InvictusLux said...

Infidel753 appoints himself as a judge and jury of Religious people (even insulting them all by lumping them all together as if the notion of Objective Truth is meaningless).

This is the uncritical and ignorant intellect trying to impose itself as infallible in its own self-righteous judgement -- a style of judgement that only self aggrandizes for a moment of vanity rather than seeks to judge right from wrong (objectively) to pursue a greater good.

It sounds like he does not know in the least that Critical Thinking and The Scientific Method were formalized in the Catholic Church by renown clerical-scholars - Friar Roger Bacon. Do you even have a clue that Big Bang Theory was developed by a Catholic Priest Physicist and that all our university system came from the Catholic Church after the barbarians sacked Rome? As did formal music composition and score syntax and a great many other things (e.g. ). There is just not much of atheistic achievement seen in human history in comparison to the staggering accomplishments coming out of Christianity.

Infidel753 here speaks unwittingly the convenient philosophical self-contradiction that there are no absolutes (too God like) other than that atheistic self-contradicting dogmatic assertion of certitude. Yet he offers no proof that he is infallible nor endowed with any special rational facilities other than the universal dogma of "because I say so" (all hail and bow).


These are the same peculiar folk who would go into a court of law to defend himself from charges of a crime (who's law and proceedings were developed by Christians) and insist on the benefit of the doubt from a mostly Christian jury; all while denying the benefit of the doubt that God exist then if found guilty insist on a MERCY (also a Christian concept) when there is no mercy to be found anywhere in nature (the weak, injured and deviant creatures are devoured by the law of the jungle).

Science and Christian Theology BOTH hinge on the exact same core unprovable PHILOSOPHICAL principals: Causation, Principal of Non-Contradiction, assumption of a rational, repeatable law based Universe. The Christians hold science and theology as two legitimate and paired disciplines of belief since both are centered on objective truth that emits from the SAME source fount - God. Science has a domain that is limited to time-space (observable phenomena in nature). Theology is not bounded to time-space and is principally focused outside of time-space (metaphysical) for its inspiration but also sees human nature itself as containing both a material and spiritual nature (why it concerns itself with Christian Charity of both spiritual and material help and assistance - with spiritual being the principal and preeminent focus with a priority on eternity).